Beautiful weather today in SF - compared to the snowy windy stormy Chicago where I spent my whole week.
At the airport on a Friday evening heading back to SF from a long business trip, talking to my boss and both wondering why we are doing this to ourselves.
A short but intense conflict with a friend as soon as I landed after a long flight - made me exhausted and drained.
Ran into one of my b-school best friends at the airport as he was heading out for the weekend - a warm long hug suddenly made me felt at peace.
A turbulent Saturday morning made me wonder what it means to not be selfish - or can I ever be not selfish at all.
A long talk with my great friend/big sister calmed me down... for a bit
The day progresses - and it's that question again. When my life baggage gets too heavy, I tend to unpack that one thing... It's so much lighter without it. It stabilizes me... But should I do it?
Time has its answer - so i'll ask Time.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Last day of my 20’s
“You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you”, said Heraclitus. So is this moment. So I decided to jot down some notes and capture it before the next second is flowing on to me… (and as I speak and write, many new seconds have passed).
Many birthday celebrations have come prior to my special day. And yet it doesn't feel the same, because I know I still have many days to go before I need to start with a new number when writing down my age. So I am curious how I would feel as I wake up tomorrow, knowing I just got wiser and more mature and more grown up? I bet it would be amazing feeling. I'm ahead of my friends, who will only get to experience this moment after me - that's why it must be a great feeling... (Chip u, I'm looking at you right now...:P)
I don't intend to write long, because I want to save the longer post for when I turn 30. This post is just meant to capture what I am feeling right now right here:
- I'm very nervous because one of my colleagues said 9 days ago: "Vu, you are so energetic now. But trust me, in 9 days you won't be like that any more. Enjoy the last 9 days of your 20's". Guess he meant to say I would just be a "dead meat", potato-couch by then... Will see if he's right
- I'm also very excited, because lots of my friends said "Your life can only be better from here. You will be much more content in life. You are now officially grown up". You can probably most (if not all) of them are already over the hill, and thus passing me their wisdom!!
- I'm also at peace - I think I'm ready for it. Ready for a new decade of my life. Sad to leave my 20's behind, but ready for what lies ahead.
Let's the celebration begin. Goodbye to a wonderful 20's.
“You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you”, said Heraclitus. So is this moment. So I decided to jot down some notes and capture it before the next second is flowing on to me… (and as I speak and write, many new seconds have passed).
Many birthday celebrations have come prior to my special day. And yet it doesn't feel the same, because I know I still have many days to go before I need to start with a new number when writing down my age. So I am curious how I would feel as I wake up tomorrow, knowing I just got wiser and more mature and more grown up? I bet it would be amazing feeling. I'm ahead of my friends, who will only get to experience this moment after me - that's why it must be a great feeling... (Chip u, I'm looking at you right now...:P)
I don't intend to write long, because I want to save the longer post for when I turn 30. This post is just meant to capture what I am feeling right now right here:
- I'm very nervous because one of my colleagues said 9 days ago: "Vu, you are so energetic now. But trust me, in 9 days you won't be like that any more. Enjoy the last 9 days of your 20's". Guess he meant to say I would just be a "dead meat", potato-couch by then... Will see if he's right
- I'm also very excited, because lots of my friends said "Your life can only be better from here. You will be much more content in life. You are now officially grown up". You can probably most (if not all) of them are already over the hill, and thus passing me their wisdom!!
- I'm also at peace - I think I'm ready for it. Ready for a new decade of my life. Sad to leave my 20's behind, but ready for what lies ahead.
Let's the celebration begin. Goodbye to a wonderful 20's.
Monday, November 5, 2012
The One Year Mark - WHY NOT ME
Long over due - planned to write this during Oct 2012, which was the month that marked my exact one year mark. Better late than never, so here come my memories of the year.
As I remember during my time at GSB, some friends and alum usually made the joke "we are living on a bubble here while at b-school", "thats the best 2 years of my life", "life could only go downhill from here"... Back then, I didnt fully appreciate what it really means - as we were indeed living in a bubble of the campus life. So much that we tend to forget what reality of life is. I might dis-agree with the point that "life could only go downhill from here", or "thats the best 2 years of my life" - because otherwise the many many years ahead would look so depressing if i already hit the peak of life too soon.
That said, I think I do agree life wasnt truly real on campus - as since i came out, it has become much more real. Like a roller coaster. Like a true wheel of life. It goes down but then back up. The one year since i started my real life (after a long 5-month vacation post b-school) deserved a long reflection.
So what does this one full year mark?
1. A full-year journey of life in San Francisco. Another home for me after my many beautiful homes in Vietnam, Denmark, Palo Alto and Houston. I feel blessed for having the opportunity to live here, and to treasure what the city has to offer. Many times I walk randomly on the street by myself, i realized how lucky I am to be here. That's a privilege that I dont just take for granted. Thanks for all who give me this opportunity.
2. A year since the unfortunate nerve-cracking event happened.
A week moving into my apartment, the night after my housewarming party, we got an uninvited guest (i.e. intruder) to my apartment at 3AM. Not a pleasant experience, or not something that anybody would ever want to experience in life. The very immediate question I had for myself, "Thought this was only in TV. Why did it happen to us?". In a conversation with my friend's godmother, the master of advice, she said "Why not you?"
She is right. "Why not ME?" That truly stuck with me - and it helped me put things in perspective. For the longest period of time, I have taken for granted all the things I get. But her response made me think - i'm no different than other, and if it could happen to anybody else, it could happen to me. So, "Why NOT me?".
3. A year since my first ever rejection
As we all know, it's much better to be on the side of the table - and it's hard to really know how it made the other feel when we never experienced it. But trust me, when you are on this side - it's not pleasant. It hurts your ego (which i assume, if anything, we all have a ton). It brings you self-doubt. And it made you again ask, "Why does this happen to me?" - but then, "why NOT me"
Yet, it's one of the most humbling experience I had. It helped me understand what it feels like to be on the other side, and thus build compassion for that. And the best thing is, it build the foundation for something deeper, and more beautiful - a long-lasting friendship.
4. And a full year of my first real job post b-school. As a Management Consultant.
Going back to work is not all that bad, after a 2 year vacation living irresponsibly. Though I must admit its hard to have real deadlines that you have to be responsible for, and you face the real consequences for anything you dont do well.
But this job - it helps me grow a lot, and build a strong personality at work. Knowing this is probably not the best fit for me coming in, but i didnt expect to find myself that much dissatisfying. Lots of me and my classmates talked about it - and we can all blame on GSB, who gave us the illusion (for better or worse) that we are now so empowered to go do big great things that "change lives, change organization, change the world". And so the late nights of me building a great set of slides on a topic that i'm not too interested in - I challenged myself and wasnt sure how much impact I could make doing so... and those feelings haunt me and require lots of reflection. Not sure if i come to terms with that, but at least i managed to find the "inner peace".
One biggest lesson I got to learn - while lack of passion for a job is torturing in itself, it does bring me a greater learning experience. I learn how to make myself be more known by pushing back on the things I dont want at work.
- Be it an annoying arrogant team member who thought "he'e among the smartest of the smartest" and that drives me nut. I told my boss i couldnt work with him - and he listened and make the change for me.
- Be it a project that is perceived as extremely important for the company, and very high profile, and would likely put me on a fast track. I told my partner I cant continue with this client, because this is not what I came to consulting for. A painful battle, but at least i got what i want at the end.
- Be it a skill set I am so fed up with and dont want to do it any more - excel model. For those who know me so well, you all know i hate this. And so i told my boss, if anything, the next project you put me on, I wont do excel model again. And so far so good... no longer an excel monkey :)
- And a lot more things - so much that it seems I create a reputation for being "very cranky" at work. A good colleague of mine said this, which i find funny: "Vu, i have never seen anybody that is MOST disengaged and yet MOST productive person, like you are". Guess i should take it as a compliment, no?
And my boss once told me "I'm a bit nervous and scared to come to you and ask for something, because it might lead to a 30min debate of why i make those request, for a truly 5-min of work. And still, i might not get what i ask for". Or another boss "i try to not micro-manage everybody in the team, especially you..."
I must admit - it's a great feeling to be in a job where I dont feel the pressure to try so hard to be ranked the top, or to be a part of a fast track group. Having those pressures prevent me from creating a boundaries that work for me, because i'm constantly being pulled into those ambition. Having this little detach and a little lack of compassion, it helps build a strong personality for me at work. Might not work in the long run, but oh well, it's working now. :)
5. Saving the best for last, it's a year since VietSeed comes to full-speed operation.
If anything, VietSeed helps me balance passion at work. I once told my colleague:
- Me: you know why i might come across "cranky" at work?
- Colleague: Why?
- Me: because I dont find the right balance at work... Iimagine this, I have 24 hours a day - i spent 80% of my time working on something that i dont really care about... I then spend 10% of my time to sleep. And the other 10%, I work on something i deeply care about"
- Colleague: ...
VietSeed is that last 10% - and it's true. Another friend told me "Ironic that you find balance from your work by another work...".
Amazing year for VietSeed - we have tripled the number of students we sponsored this year - 11 last year to 35 this year. I'm extremely proud to see my team grow, they all step up to much bigger role and take leadership for the team. I'm even more proud to see our first year co-hort now mature, and experienced tremendous growth, both personally and professionally. I am proud of my sponsor community - who are deeply passionate about what we do. Not just giving our students the money, but truly give them the love. Thats the culture I want to create, a VietSeed community that is started out of a loving and caring relationship - where PEOPLE CONNECTING.
Cheers to an eventful year 2012. Ready for what comes ahead.
San Francisco, October 2011 - 2012
Long over due - planned to write this during Oct 2012, which was the month that marked my exact one year mark. Better late than never, so here come my memories of the year.
As I remember during my time at GSB, some friends and alum usually made the joke "we are living on a bubble here while at b-school", "thats the best 2 years of my life", "life could only go downhill from here"... Back then, I didnt fully appreciate what it really means - as we were indeed living in a bubble of the campus life. So much that we tend to forget what reality of life is. I might dis-agree with the point that "life could only go downhill from here", or "thats the best 2 years of my life" - because otherwise the many many years ahead would look so depressing if i already hit the peak of life too soon.
That said, I think I do agree life wasnt truly real on campus - as since i came out, it has become much more real. Like a roller coaster. Like a true wheel of life. It goes down but then back up. The one year since i started my real life (after a long 5-month vacation post b-school) deserved a long reflection.
So what does this one full year mark?
1. A full-year journey of life in San Francisco. Another home for me after my many beautiful homes in Vietnam, Denmark, Palo Alto and Houston. I feel blessed for having the opportunity to live here, and to treasure what the city has to offer. Many times I walk randomly on the street by myself, i realized how lucky I am to be here. That's a privilege that I dont just take for granted. Thanks for all who give me this opportunity.
2. A year since the unfortunate nerve-cracking event happened.
A week moving into my apartment, the night after my housewarming party, we got an uninvited guest (i.e. intruder) to my apartment at 3AM. Not a pleasant experience, or not something that anybody would ever want to experience in life. The very immediate question I had for myself, "Thought this was only in TV. Why did it happen to us?". In a conversation with my friend's godmother, the master of advice, she said "Why not you?"
She is right. "Why not ME?" That truly stuck with me - and it helped me put things in perspective. For the longest period of time, I have taken for granted all the things I get. But her response made me think - i'm no different than other, and if it could happen to anybody else, it could happen to me. So, "Why NOT me?".
3. A year since my first ever rejection
As we all know, it's much better to be on the side of the table - and it's hard to really know how it made the other feel when we never experienced it. But trust me, when you are on this side - it's not pleasant. It hurts your ego (which i assume, if anything, we all have a ton). It brings you self-doubt. And it made you again ask, "Why does this happen to me?" - but then, "why NOT me"
Yet, it's one of the most humbling experience I had. It helped me understand what it feels like to be on the other side, and thus build compassion for that. And the best thing is, it build the foundation for something deeper, and more beautiful - a long-lasting friendship.
4. And a full year of my first real job post b-school. As a Management Consultant.
Going back to work is not all that bad, after a 2 year vacation living irresponsibly. Though I must admit its hard to have real deadlines that you have to be responsible for, and you face the real consequences for anything you dont do well.
But this job - it helps me grow a lot, and build a strong personality at work. Knowing this is probably not the best fit for me coming in, but i didnt expect to find myself that much dissatisfying. Lots of me and my classmates talked about it - and we can all blame on GSB, who gave us the illusion (for better or worse) that we are now so empowered to go do big great things that "change lives, change organization, change the world". And so the late nights of me building a great set of slides on a topic that i'm not too interested in - I challenged myself and wasnt sure how much impact I could make doing so... and those feelings haunt me and require lots of reflection. Not sure if i come to terms with that, but at least i managed to find the "inner peace".
One biggest lesson I got to learn - while lack of passion for a job is torturing in itself, it does bring me a greater learning experience. I learn how to make myself be more known by pushing back on the things I dont want at work.
- Be it an annoying arrogant team member who thought "he'e among the smartest of the smartest" and that drives me nut. I told my boss i couldnt work with him - and he listened and make the change for me.
- Be it a project that is perceived as extremely important for the company, and very high profile, and would likely put me on a fast track. I told my partner I cant continue with this client, because this is not what I came to consulting for. A painful battle, but at least i got what i want at the end.
- Be it a skill set I am so fed up with and dont want to do it any more - excel model. For those who know me so well, you all know i hate this. And so i told my boss, if anything, the next project you put me on, I wont do excel model again. And so far so good... no longer an excel monkey :)
- And a lot more things - so much that it seems I create a reputation for being "very cranky" at work. A good colleague of mine said this, which i find funny: "Vu, i have never seen anybody that is MOST disengaged and yet MOST productive person, like you are". Guess i should take it as a compliment, no?
And my boss once told me "I'm a bit nervous and scared to come to you and ask for something, because it might lead to a 30min debate of why i make those request, for a truly 5-min of work. And still, i might not get what i ask for". Or another boss "i try to not micro-manage everybody in the team, especially you..."
I must admit - it's a great feeling to be in a job where I dont feel the pressure to try so hard to be ranked the top, or to be a part of a fast track group. Having those pressures prevent me from creating a boundaries that work for me, because i'm constantly being pulled into those ambition. Having this little detach and a little lack of compassion, it helps build a strong personality for me at work. Might not work in the long run, but oh well, it's working now. :)
5. Saving the best for last, it's a year since VietSeed comes to full-speed operation.
If anything, VietSeed helps me balance passion at work. I once told my colleague:
- Me: you know why i might come across "cranky" at work?
- Colleague: Why?
- Me: because I dont find the right balance at work... Iimagine this, I have 24 hours a day - i spent 80% of my time working on something that i dont really care about... I then spend 10% of my time to sleep. And the other 10%, I work on something i deeply care about"
- Colleague: ...
VietSeed is that last 10% - and it's true. Another friend told me "Ironic that you find balance from your work by another work...".
Amazing year for VietSeed - we have tripled the number of students we sponsored this year - 11 last year to 35 this year. I'm extremely proud to see my team grow, they all step up to much bigger role and take leadership for the team. I'm even more proud to see our first year co-hort now mature, and experienced tremendous growth, both personally and professionally. I am proud of my sponsor community - who are deeply passionate about what we do. Not just giving our students the money, but truly give them the love. Thats the culture I want to create, a VietSeed community that is started out of a loving and caring relationship - where PEOPLE CONNECTING.
Cheers to an eventful year 2012. Ready for what comes ahead.
San Francisco, October 2011 - 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Congrats to another Vietnamese Grad from GSB
Congrats to another Vietnamese Grad from GSB!
Back at the Frost Ampitheatre at Stanford GSB - just 365 days ago, I was one of those kids, clumpsy in the lengthy hat and gown, walking down the stairs. 365 days later, I am still one of the kids - but this time sitting on the grass, taking pics and saying congrats to to those other kids in hat and gown...
Coming back for GSB graduation after a year was a very sweet moment. Feel proud for those of class 2012 - you guys all made it! Time for you all to do what you have been taught in school, "change lives, change organizations, change the world". As you classmate spoke at the graduation, you guys have already been doing it, so just "KEEP DOING IT".
Especially happy for Vinh - another Vietnamese Grad from GSB! All your hard work, all the efforts, all your dreams and hopes before school - it all condensed in that very moment as you walk on stage and heard your name called. It's the hope and dream of your families and your friends - that one day you will do something big and "leave a legacy". I wish your family could make it to the GSB to see you proudly walked on the stage. I am happy I could be there for him, and I am happy Huong, Annie, Tuyet, and Thang could be there for him as well. At a place where he is so far away from home, our little Vietnamese community becomes a tight family.
GSB has connected us all - Vinh, Huong and I. Each of us - a year apart graduating from GSB. I knew c Huong back in college, but with Vinh, little did I know him when he first applied, and when he first sent me his essay for proofread. First time I talked to him was to do mock interview for him. First time I met him was when he first got to Stanford. Started as "stranger", we become so much closer now - so much that i always see him my lille brother. I'm proud for your achievement, bro!
Now - you're the first among 3 of us going back home. Do something that makes us proud. The journey is rocky ahead as we all know, but i'm sure you will do great and make things happen!
Happy Graduation and Congrats to all GSB class 2012.
Back at the Frost Ampitheatre at Stanford GSB - just 365 days ago, I was one of those kids, clumpsy in the lengthy hat and gown, walking down the stairs. 365 days later, I am still one of the kids - but this time sitting on the grass, taking pics and saying congrats to to those other kids in hat and gown...
Coming back for GSB graduation after a year was a very sweet moment. Feel proud for those of class 2012 - you guys all made it! Time for you all to do what you have been taught in school, "change lives, change organizations, change the world". As you classmate spoke at the graduation, you guys have already been doing it, so just "KEEP DOING IT".
Especially happy for Vinh - another Vietnamese Grad from GSB! All your hard work, all the efforts, all your dreams and hopes before school - it all condensed in that very moment as you walk on stage and heard your name called. It's the hope and dream of your families and your friends - that one day you will do something big and "leave a legacy". I wish your family could make it to the GSB to see you proudly walked on the stage. I am happy I could be there for him, and I am happy Huong, Annie, Tuyet, and Thang could be there for him as well. At a place where he is so far away from home, our little Vietnamese community becomes a tight family.
GSB has connected us all - Vinh, Huong and I. Each of us - a year apart graduating from GSB. I knew c Huong back in college, but with Vinh, little did I know him when he first applied, and when he first sent me his essay for proofread. First time I talked to him was to do mock interview for him. First time I met him was when he first got to Stanford. Started as "stranger", we become so much closer now - so much that i always see him my lille brother. I'm proud for your achievement, bro!
Now - you're the first among 3 of us going back home. Do something that makes us proud. The journey is rocky ahead as we all know, but i'm sure you will do great and make things happen!
Happy Graduation and Congrats to all GSB class 2012.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Another busy project
This weekend is the first one (after 5 weeks) that I can sit back and relax and enjoy some free moment. The last project I was assigned to was just insane. It's a Private Equity Due Diligence - and with that, the hours became unbearable. 3-4 hours of sleep almost every night for 5 weeks, the long weekends loaded with deadlines, and the intense pressure of the work we did - all make it the longest 5 weeks I had since i started my job.
One good thing though - I learned so much more during this 5 weeks about healthcare reform than I ever knew, and the amazing team made it all much more enjoyable. At the end of the day, as we came to realize over and over again, it's the people that made all the difference. Imagine me in this busy project with a team that doesnt get along well together - that would make me quit. Props to my team and my senior bosses.
To compensate for all our hard work, our Partner decided to give us some special treat:
- A super relaxing trip to Vegas, staying by the pool with a Pool cabana.
- A special massage treatment (that equals the cost of an iPhone 4) - it's insane how much those spa can charge for a massage. I was shocked
- An amazing dinner at a Michelen 3 star restaurant in Vegas
- VIP ticket to the Cirque du soleil show (the O) in vegas
- And an iPad 3
He didnt have to do it - as it's not part of the firm's tradition. The gift is nice, but it's his appreciation for our hard work and didnt take it for granted that we have to work long hours - is what means a lot more to me.
Despite all these rewards, I cant do another crazy project like this, at least not for a while!
Now its time to re-charge, and get my personal life back on track :)
One good thing though - I learned so much more during this 5 weeks about healthcare reform than I ever knew, and the amazing team made it all much more enjoyable. At the end of the day, as we came to realize over and over again, it's the people that made all the difference. Imagine me in this busy project with a team that doesnt get along well together - that would make me quit. Props to my team and my senior bosses.
To compensate for all our hard work, our Partner decided to give us some special treat:
- A super relaxing trip to Vegas, staying by the pool with a Pool cabana.
- A special massage treatment (that equals the cost of an iPhone 4) - it's insane how much those spa can charge for a massage. I was shocked
- An amazing dinner at a Michelen 3 star restaurant in Vegas
- VIP ticket to the Cirque du soleil show (the O) in vegas
- And an iPad 3
He didnt have to do it - as it's not part of the firm's tradition. The gift is nice, but it's his appreciation for our hard work and didnt take it for granted that we have to work long hours - is what means a lot more to me.
Despite all these rewards, I cant do another crazy project like this, at least not for a while!
Now its time to re-charge, and get my personal life back on track :)
Failed New Year Resolution
The last 2 busy months have made me fail miserably on my new year resolution:
- I couldnt keep up with my goal to exercise ONCE a month (to which all my friends laughed about)
- I obviously didnt write any blog during March
- And no book finished during the past month...
Not so good for a start - but I'll get back on track (hopefully).
- I couldnt keep up with my goal to exercise ONCE a month (to which all my friends laughed about)
- I obviously didnt write any blog during March
- And no book finished during the past month...
Not so good for a start - but I'll get back on track (hopefully).
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
The Ultimate Happiness...
Two days in a row, my friends forwarded me 2 different articles, but all speaking clear and loud of the same message. In the post "It's good to be reminded", I referred to how everybody is struggling to balance the 5 balls "Work, family, health, friends and spirit" in the air.
In this new article, I am once reminded of the top 5 most common regrets when we are faced with our own mortality. I wish myself and all of us the best of luck in minimizing our regrets, by living a life to the fullest, and every choice we make is to bring us the ultimate Happiness.
I really like how it was said in the article:
"Each [patient] experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance.
Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them"
I am happy that every single of them, or every single of us, will find our inner peace...
The Top 5 regrets:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
It kinda concerns me a bit... as it might not be a coincidence that my friends keep signaling this message to me... It's good to be reminded again.
Ps: Link to the full article:
http://beyondtheopposites.com/2011/11/22/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying/?fwcc=1&fwcl=1&fwl&_ft_qid=5698930180574652973&_ft_mf_story_key=10150507833226142&_ft_filter=h_nor&_ft_interface=m_faceweb_ipad&_ft_c=m
In this new article, I am once reminded of the top 5 most common regrets when we are faced with our own mortality. I wish myself and all of us the best of luck in minimizing our regrets, by living a life to the fullest, and every choice we make is to bring us the ultimate Happiness.
I really like how it was said in the article:
"Each [patient] experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance.
Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them"
I am happy that every single of them, or every single of us, will find our inner peace...
The Top 5 regrets:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
It kinda concerns me a bit... as it might not be a coincidence that my friends keep signaling this message to me... It's good to be reminded again.
Ps: Link to the full article:
http://beyondtheopposites.com/2011/11/22/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying/?fwcc=1&fwcl=1&fwl&_ft_qid=5698930180574652973&_ft_mf_story_key=10150507833226142&_ft_filter=h_nor&_ft_interface=m_faceweb_ipad&_ft_c=m
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)